Your lipstick stains.

If you're not my Valentine, go away now

2012-02-13T20:59:00.004+08:00

I wish we could celebrate w champagne/wine. In fact, I wish we could do so many things tgt on such a day specially dedicated to Love.

I know everything i'm gna say would seem so hackneyed (Esp on this occasion) but trust me, everything's right from my heart.

You play such a significant role in my life. Since day 1, I knew you're the 1. The one who wipes my tears, The one who comforts me anytime anywhere, The one who scolds me for the silly things i do, The one who loves me despite my flaws, The one who could ever tolerate my nonsense/angst, The one who can make me smile/laugh by just looking at me, The one being the love of my life.

I dont know what I would have been, without you. Nothing, perhaps. You turned my life upside down. From emo girl in sec 1, to happy optimistic girl from sec 2 onwards. You planted in me the spark. The spark that ignites the fire in me. You're my Motivation. The thought of you could make me pull through any situations I would ever be in, I swear. You have this amount of power that no units can ever measure. The power that controls my life.

Saying thank you is obviously not enough to express my gratitude towards you. I dont know what is adequate. You tell me. What I know for sure is I'd be giving you my love, my all. For whenever you want it.

Cause I love you.

First week of VJ Orientation

2012-02-04T08:43:00.005+08:00

I'm blogging right now cause I feel like I should reflect.. Yea haha i knw da fuck right but I just need to read what I've written and then be sure of what I'm feeling right now.

Today's a Saturday. Past five days had tired me out like fuck. Mentally and physically. To make matters worse, I feel that I couldnt be myself in vj. Everyone was so demure and self conscious that I just fell right into the same situation- being self conscious and quiet, not allowing myself to be judged AS MUCH. Thus when I met up w blf, everything just felt right again. I could be myself and we totally enjoyed the little time we got to spend. No offence to anybody, but I'm (more than)glad I left the sch halfway w sof on fri. If not, I dont think I'd think that the orientation ended off w a bang, but instead a relief.

Perhaps it's my own fault. Awkward and shy (yes i am shy when i'm not w my friends),were just how I was throughout the first 4 days in vj. My threatening and unfriendly looks didnt help either. I know. I realised all these not just, but since yesterday or the day before yesterday. Having wondered what was wrong, I concluded that I'm the main cause of all the unfortunate and miserable moments spent then.Sad isnt it? Unwilling to make friends due to fear of change. Change in oneself.

I fear change. & I am aware that this would lead to many downfalls if I do not demolish the fear soon. No more "going with the flow", cause "the flow" does not comprise of changes. Take up different paths, be a different me but in certain ways only.

No matter what, I just cant remain in this sort of situation for all of my 2 years in vj. Time to dare to be different.

2012-01-25T21:01:00.005+08:00

Just now, me and blf realised that if Cikgu Norliza had still been in crescent before I graduated, EVERYTHING would have been way much better. Everything about pbmc.

-

On another note, I think I've grown up. Cause now i prefer just sitting arnd and talking to people, not doing much. It's either that or I've grown lazy...which is bad. Rly bad haha. I cant wait for school to distract me from twitter. Age is catching up on me i cant stand whines and complaints from immature ppl anymore.

So bitchy for what?

I'm sorry.

//
my self esteem dropped so much today. reality hit me. i'm gna have to face shits again once sch starts. damn but tonight cant determine my attitude for the upcoming challenges i'm gna face. i dont need you guys to determine tht.

You got that smile, that only heaven can make

2012-01-22T21:24:00.003+08:00

The book that I recently read made me think about basically, People. The game described in the book caught my attention; what you do is point at random couples/groups of people and just blatantly describe how you think their lives are like:their occupation, status, emotions, stage of life etc.

Without realising it, I do play that "game" when I people-watch. But I dont share my opinions and thoughts with anyone, cause then, I'd be considered as judging those strangers. Plus, judging people isnt quite a palatable act, social-wise. Teenagers remind themselves not to judge people. The act of judging shows haughtiness. People who judge others are seen as those who do not bother to get to know others well enough and just jump straight to assuming their attitudes, characters etcs.

I feel that perhaps, if we do have concrete evidence, such as one's reactions to events, opinions and responses to issues, one's likes or dislikes and etc, we are capable of judging others aptly. And in order to get those evidences, we dont even have to be socially active to that person. (Sounds a bit wrong but yknw what I mean). In fact, we just have to be socially connected to that person. Yeap, through the mega powerful internet.

On the flipside, certain people judge without collecting much evidence. And that is why people often say "Don't judge me" after doing something silly or just ludicrous. We should all learn to appreciate the presence of humans. If I was given the chance, I would want to learn each and every person's life almost inside out. All this, to appreciate God's creation.

I want to Know people. Know the world.

Then I could do something big. (This,I truly wish)

2012-01-16T20:24:00.002+08:00

I've realised that there are quite a number of people who do things, which they think are hipster or cool, and announce it to the whole worldwide web, having the mindset that they actually "copy-right" those things so that when other people do the similar things, they are dubbed as the "followers" of the "trend".

That's a pretty long sentence to convey my thoughts right now, which in fact is...

"Kettle, pot here. You black ah..."

Ur luv is ma luv.

2012-01-16T11:56:00.002+08:00

Gooood afternoon fellow avid readers. (Hahaha I might just be talking to myself in this blog but bitch pls, having a gd imagination is healthy for teenagers like me.)

Right, so I have not bathed, its 12pm haha I feel smelly and sticky. Had a damn fun time doing chores just now while my parents went for foot/body reflexology. Who the fuck am I kidding haha damn it I feel like a maid. But atleast my majikan gave me a laptop to entertain meself so that I wont find boyfriend at lucky plaza and berasmaradana.

Bloody nonsense.

Cant wait for picnic w the minahs tmr. Haha planned to make pancakes but mum doesnt want to buy maple syrup for me and blf thinks it will be messy. So should i still make pancakes. Sigh my crave for pancakes has not be fulfilled la :/ See how eh. Dont want to stay home w dad the whole day today. Gna lie my way out of the hse later heh heh. Shhh. I am bored and cant believe i'm gna say this....I'm actually bored of the holidays alr. Hahah I'm quite satisfied w how my holiday went. No routines or whatsoever. I learnt to live for the moment. Rly felt like a free bird.

Ok so give me back my busy sch life. I want.

Yea i'm a geek, so what?

Tsk.

Bye.

Only for one.

2012-01-07T23:06:00.002+08:00

I hate it when i feel rly useless. I dont know what I can do. I know i have no rights to say "I feel you" or stg liddat, & it bloody hurts. Cause I want to be the one who understands you and be there for you. What i really want to do is make you happy cause that is what that makes me the happiest.

Help me, help me get out from this hole of pure darkness where i cant see anything that i can do..For you, the love of my life.

2012-01-04T20:39:00.002+08:00

I've been gg to the dearest's house, 1) to watch ombak rindu (halfway) 2) for ayu's tuition haha. Ytd, wanted to watch ombak rindu after the run w her. We got waffles from prima delhi yummy! Hahah halfway thru the movie, stg cocked up and we had to stop boohoo. Then I played dance central 2 with the girl for awhile then she got tired then i danced by myself HAHA i syiok sendiri.

Today was unexpectedly a busy day... Well my definition of busy has changed due to the holidays. Haha i've finally cleared my study table!! Hung new stuffs ;) i like hehe. went to imm to buy a whiteboard so that my room would be like joey's!!! (from Friends)Alalala i suddenly feel sad tht i'm gna be done with friends season 10 soon :( sigh i want to have friends like them when i grow up :( okay anw after buying a whiteboard, i went to clementi library to borrow books for maself n minin. After that, off to fetch the pampered from np! Haha we realised tht quite a lot of guys in np look like my brudder from behind haha scary ok.

Ok i dah tired la hahahhaha n sulastri ryanti is trying to shit now!! < public announcement woohooo

2012-01-02T22:02:00.004+08:00

Spent the second day of new year with the cutest :B Went kiteflying finally yayyyyy! It was tiring, albeit the perfect weather. My string tangled w two others'. Man, was it traumatising. The wind was so inconsistent so my kite went ballistic :( sigh. While I was facing a crisis, the dearest had one too. Having spilt her green tea, she panicked and was busy saving her camera, phone, the mat hahaha. So I was all alone trying to entangle the tangled strings boohoo. Atleast, the uncle was nice. Wah, the boy step pro only tsk.

Had a really great time talking abt random stuffs while being engulfed in bubbles blown towards us by a group of girls. It was.......weird. HAHA there was once a bubble hit me, right smack at ma face. Best. Oh! The cleaner MIGHT have a done a blowjob action to the dearest and she was all 0.0 hahah so we made a move. Old chang kee to our rescue!!! Someone wanted to eat the takoyaki or omnoyaki there tsk tsk tsk the fierce gal didnt allow her to :p

Cityhall next to have our belated lunch! Both of us had headaches alr cause not used to the direct contact of the sun.....(HAHA wtf we sound like bimbos)Didnt go to seoul garden in the end :( I thought tht it was too ex heh :p So ended up eating at pizza hut!! We best sharing couple hahah we bought a lasagne, a personal pizza, cheesy meatballs and fries w cheese n whatithoughtwasachillisaucebutitturnedouttobestgelseiforgotthename hahahahah (oh its salsa!!) Felt vvvvvv bloated n full after tht. Thanks bb for the treat!! :B Walked walked arnd and bought drink from bubbletree~~ HAHA

Alright, this is surprisingly rly detailed hahaha. Lets just cut the chase- ME AND BLF BOUGHT OUR PLANNERS!! WE SAME SAME HEHEHE (so cute right) I am ready 4 sch!!! (haha mcm ah besok skola sape sak gi skola besok.....) i mcm irritating gila babi only. Okay la back to watching you!!!

2012-01-01T16:07:00.003+08:00

Happy new year earthlings! ;)

I've always been amazed as to how on this day, everyone on this earth all come together to just celebrate the beginning of the year. & after that the excitement, positivity just dies down as the year unfolds. Thus my decision to stop making new year resolutions.

To be honest, I wasnt even hyped up for this new year. Maybe because of the way I celebrated it. Haha it's not that my relatives are boring, but sometimes, I need a change man. I really wish i could celebrate a new year w other people, instead of my fam. Sighs hapless kid.

My goal of the year: Keep it simple, from the start. Life's gonna be hard, esp when I'm gonna start afresh in a new school. Hence, I really wish I could remain sane. Gonna open up to new people. Open up my mind to more different perspectives, beliefs. Yeap, that sounds like a plan.... Haha

Alright for now, before O's results are released, i wanna spend more time w You n friends until time does not permit me to.

To the one i miss so damn much

2011-12-26T20:36:00.003+08:00

Hey there baby! I'm back in sg haha, our country, the place where both of us are supposed to be (well if we're not on holiday sobs)But i'm surely proud to be a sgian now. Being in batam makes me rly thankful of how sg is. Shall espound more about it as i tell you abt the 3D2N in boring batam. Here goes a long post w/o pictures... Haha gd luck awak

Saturday 24th Dec
Reached batam about an hour after i last texted you but guess what hahah when i reached there it was still the time when I left sg hahah cause Indon nye time like an hour slower than ours. I didnt know tht ehhhh HAHA. First thing that greeted us was the interminably long wait. The queue for the chopping passport wah like so long.. Only two counters were open for us and the workers were so slow and mendak eek geram. Haha after that we went to shop............Well my mum and the women did. Hahah shopped for kuih lapis. Damn delicious HAHA so okay la tak complain but I had to pee like damn urgent. Me and ma siblings sat outside a restaurant and we were like amused at the bahasa indon written everywhere. Jakun as ever. Hahah so after DAMN long (rly not kidding) we were heading to our hotel. 20 of us squeezed in a blue kokak bus HAHA worse than msia's bas sekolah tht i always see at melaka. Hahahaha everyone thought that it was like gg to break apart on the way to the hotel eh LUCKY it didnt. Man I rly felt like a kampung gal. gd experience hor. Haha! The hotel was okay la, not posh but rly acceptable hahah. You knw we couldnt steal the toiletries cause the shampoo, conditioner and soap is all in this liquid hahah tht we used to put on our whole body when we bathed...APE LA. Hahaha and oh the water is like either green or yellow. HAHAHA gross right but i guess its all because of the excessive chlorine. I had baths with both green and yellow water HAHAHA. The tv got a lot of channels and while I was there me and my siblings watched Tangled, A team, Home alone 4, Date night, Evan Almighty, HAUNTED (rmb the ghost show tht we watched at yr hse haha got animals one..) and i cant rmb the rest hehe. Best lor since my hse tv where got can watch those channels haha. Oh before checking in, we went to a shopping mall just behind our hotel while waiting for the rooms to be ready for us. ATE AT A&W HAHAHA BEST BEST ROOT BEER FLOAT YUMZ and the chicken YUMZ. After that, went to buy underwear cause I didnt bring enuf HAHA wanted to find sandals but all like tak lawa. For dinner, we went to eat at nasi ayam penyet ria. Ayam die i suke :p Lepas tu kite gi shopping kat dorang nye giant..I forgot all the names of the shops alr i suck. We bought a carton of pop mie!!! 24 of them inside a carton, perisi ayam spesial?? Hhahaha we bought other flavours to try2 also HEHE bought quite a lot of junk food eh cause all like damn cheap ah once we convert back to sg dollars!!! We shopped until it was almost time for the shop to close we queued for DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNNNNN long hahah nak mati. When we went back to our hotel room, ma siblings and i ate pop mie I ATE MEE GORENG SPESIAL POWER BEB HAHAH hot hot hot tho!! The mee baso also I love! :p heheh thanks for the recommendation :p ate donuts too and then slept after thinking of you :) Hugged your clone throughout the whole night and I smelled like you when I woke up the next day cause i wear my pullover hehe :p

Alright blogpost for Sunday 25th will be up soon I tired alr :( Pls check your twitter soon and DM me it'll make me rly elated!!

Loves and misses you
-Orf (not the clone)

2011-12-22T16:30:00.001+08:00

I guess its easier to lie to your friends during the holidays, when we're all MIA-ing from each other's lives, huh? Sometimes i hate being proven RIGHT. fuck u two.

2011-12-18T22:20:00.001+08:00

Thought i'd never say this again, But omg Jay park!!! 0.0

2011-12-17T23:39:00.003+08:00

I despise people who are power hungry. & I do feel rather disappointed that I've known people who are like that.

Alright, I dont wanna babble any further cause I dont want to seem like a bitter teenager. Just gonna throw the rotten feelings away and start next year with new people and perspectives. I cant wait, rly.

Adios bitchachos.

2011-12-16T18:55:00.002+08:00

I wish i was rich.

The kind of rich that
- firstly, can make you feel happy with the things i buy for you, places i bring you to
- keeps my mind off problems that i may face due to shortage of money
- does not make me an insatiable person.

Hmmm wonder whats wrong with me today

2011-12-12T21:25:00.002+08:00

I think Jason Derulo cant rly dance but he's good at grooving haha. Looking at him makes me wanna just dance crazily haha.

Anyway, i miss going to a chalet....and like bbq-ing and just playing and acting like fools. Hahaha naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak.

Sigh

2011-12-11T18:33:00.000+08:00

FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

damn the world.

Mine

2011-12-11T00:20:00.002+08:00

I will never be the same, without you.

I'm so thankful I have you. So damn thankful that I could see the beautiful face, hear the lovely voice, smell the sweet fragrance on you and your clothes, kiss the smooth skin and feel you being around me all the time. I cant exactly express my feelings in words but what I definitely can do is to show it to you. I love you. Just you. <3 Happy 32nd month sweetheart.

2011-12-06T12:32:00.001+08:00

Gonna spend time at home today, blasting songs and just spending time alone. Its me and my music today haha. Bet blf's jealous. Think i'm gna spam twitter with song lyrics woohoo bear with me.

2011-12-05T22:38:00.003+08:00

I miss being busy. Not the kind of busy that doesnt allow me to spend much time with The One, but the kind of busy that keeps me away from the net. I really believe that ignorance is bliss and sometimes i wish i didnt have to deal with emotions.

(okay so the one just gave me links to rly optimistic songs as a remedy for this illness i'm having. very sweet :) hehe luvluv)

I want to be Wall E. Oh my but even robots have feelings!!!!! Ok for just one day, i wish i could be someone who doesnt have a heart, no feelings. Just the brains. Haha had enough of feeling grumpy, angry, disgusted, & all the negative feelings etc etc Keep reminding myself tht this holiday is for me to take a break from everything. Just do nothing. But arghhhhhh feeling restless is not any good feeling

Okay bye haha

2011-11-27T19:04:00.002+08:00

I strongly believe that everybody needs love. & I understand how certain lonely people tend to be more angsty and grumpy than people who are happily in a r/s. Well, basically because they lack true love - love that is always there to hold and comfort them whenever they fall and just lose themselves.

I may sound mushy and all. I dont care. I know that the world needs love. Who the hell wants to be alone forever, w/o any friends or someone special? Friends are there to shower love, care and concern too. Important role they play.

However, not everybody can be friends with each other right? Have you ever wondered how you end up being friends with this and that person who gradually got into your bad books? & have you ever wondered how you become friends with your supposedly enemies? If we have friends with different personalities, does that mean we can be friends with everybody in the whole wide world? I think of all these when i realise that i may have lost a friend. -shrugs

Leaving a school where I've spent 4 short years in is like alighting a bus i took from my house to yew tee. The journey went quite fast, with familiar events and sights. But everytime, i see new people that come and go, all busy with our own things. But there are the familiar bus drivers, the teachers in school, always there to guide us. Honestly, i do hate few of them but pardon me, I'm a normal teenager - hatred is in my blood. (fuck yes true story haha) People I've sort of made friends with just drifted away. My fault. BUT no regrets. I dont wanna feel attached to certain groups of people whom I certainly have to part with at a point of time. So basically, I'm glad i lost contact with quite a lot of people. Hmmm

Wow, it's been long since i blogged like this. No harm doing this. Doubt anyone reads this except blackface. :) HI THERE HEHEHEHEHE ok i'll text you now.

2011-11-19T09:38:00.000+08:00

This <3

2011-11-18T21:17:00.001+08:00

Have you ever wondered how our future is set for us? How events just settle into place. I wonder if the sequences of events that happen to us are altered, will everything change? It's just like how the base sequences affect the type of polypeptide chain during the translation process. Will it?

To be honest, I'm scared of the future. I fear Change. I might as well live in Waknuk but no, I dont wanna be killed. I need to prep myself. Step out of comfort zone. But how to?

Yea too much thinking is bad for teenagers, they say. We're supposed to cherish this period of time before we enter adulthood, arent we. But what the fuck, I dont want to be in a shithole once i become an adult - an unresourceful and confused one.

Survival of the fittest. This is what bio and the walking dead do to me man. Fuck.

To You

2011-11-05T20:26:00.000+08:00

You're special to me, I swear.

2011-08-20T09:28:00.000+08:00

And when she smiles, she looks like an angel.

2011-08-07T22:23:00.002+08:00

I am so happy I've got you -to keep me sane. & when things get so downright depressing, you're there to make me feel better and realise what I had been oblivious to. Without you, I think i would have been a dull person with no life. You bring colours to my life and no matter how cheesy that sounds, I believe that everyone needs someone like you. Someone who loves you for who you are, no matter how foul your mood is. Thank you standing by me. :)

2011-07-24T20:45:00.003+08:00

First and foremost, I would like to say that I'm so embarrassed to be a crescentian and I cant wait to get out of the school.

Highlights of the week:

Saturday (yesterday) - SA Open House which was surprisingly a disappointment. Unfortunately, the open house didnt convince me that the long journey to that school would be worth it if i could qualify for that school. Yea fuck it i'm left with no choices now. But there's still this goal in mind and I hope i dont lose this motivation. Spending time with the awesome till late totally made up for the hectic mundane week. I'm recharged now.

Okay thats it.

Dis is da shit

2011-07-17T18:16:00.000+08:00

For my other half(of my heart)

2011-07-10T22:20:00.003+08:00

Our 27th tmr. Lovely, aint it? We have been strong together and persevered thru all odds. Time really flies, one more month for your internship :) You got to upgrade me to a very cool tv so you wont be bored of me cause i dare say you'll see my cute texts and hear irritating voice and see stupid silly antics in many more months/years. HAHA @ you.

PS/ I love you baby. (you know tht)

2011-06-25T22:15:00.002+08:00

I've never felt so in love. I've never wanted to not lose somebody so bad. I've never teared up every few seconds, thinking of somebody. I swear, I love you.

2011-06-24T21:57:00.004+08:00

Hahah i actually find this really funny. I like siol.

This would most probably be ma last post before O's but you cant entirely believe me when i say these kinda things haha. So tonight has been a series of unfortunate events. My phone's spoilt currently so i'm using jolene's samsung phone haha. I had to find the charger which my brother kept and it took forever and i was getting so damn frustrated. Lucky everything's okay now and i'm just gonna adapt to changes~

Honestly, i tell you ah, I damn sad school starting this monday really. I feel devastated. Haha okay dont be emotional ah gal. Anyway i'm gonna keep my hair long. I very confident haha cause i sort of told me mum i dont wanna cut ma hair. First timeeeeeeeeeeee~

Let's see, I'm gna have so much fun during the weekends and then get my ass back to school on monday and just study my ass off. (easier said than done) Dah la bye haha

2011-06-24T12:03:00.001+08:00

2011-05-22T22:18:00.002+08:00

If only sentosa's water as clear as this...Syiok man. (tapi kalau kencing npk)

I think i've got to work hard for prelim/o's over the holidays/this week too. I mean like slow and steady ah but got to do something productive everyday. Okay that's my aim haha.

Like what i told blf, i think everyone needs love in their life. Only truly optimistic and happy people can survive life being single. (Perhaps these people are mentally....not normal la hor) People who can get dependent at times should get themselves a partner who can be there for them almost 24/7. Love really changes people, from angsty to caring and optimistic. It's like love gives people hope. Knowing that there's someone out there who specially love and care for you, you'll be more determined to face life despite its shits.

This is why I really treasure and cherish my love. I find my love really important and special to me. I dont ever want to take my love for granted. I love, my love very much.

2011-05-18T19:10:00.001+08:00

Even a wise person tend to make mistakes.

It ain't the end of the world

2011-05-17T21:46:00.003+08:00

Whoah i'd never be able to sleep there. But like fun eh.

My life now sort of revolves around sleep. When i tired i sleep, i sad, stressed, angry all i sleep haha. Sleep is really important to me. Haha k right why do you need to know that. Fuck la my life getting boring haha.

I guess for this year, getting a life doesn't matter. Staying happy is what that matters most. To me ah. As long as i'm happy, then its okay. And i realised that even if i'm doing something i dislike, i can still feel satisfied/happy with the aftermath of my actions. Thinking positive is a challenge. For me, especially.

As we grow up, it's easier for us to see the hidden things. The true colours of our friends/loved ones, the secret agenda(s) behind actions and many more. We'd know when to get serious, when to be sensible and when to do the right things at the right time. I think as we grow up, we're supposed to be more sensible and start settling down. Honestly, I secretly hate myself whenever i think i'm acting childish and being shallow.

I seriously wonder who the hell reads this piece of shit so I'm gonna stop now hahaha. I hope you readers (if you guys exist) stay happy and sleep well :) Goodnight!

Haha love this~

2011-04-15T16:35:00.001+08:00

fucking funny or what

2011-04-05T21:14:00.000+08:00

I secretly wish I'd be a club dj when i grow up.

(not secret anymore)

110409

2011-03-26T20:09:00.004+08:00

Yes you're perfect to me. I'm not saying this because i want to be cheesy and mushy. But because i mean it and i want you to know my thoughts and feelings about you.

You're the first to care so much about me and to take care of me like i'm your precious jewel or diamond. I feel very loved whenever i'm around you. You give me that happy feeling, that satisfied feeling which reminds me that my life is complete with you. We do fight at times but not really often right. We always tell ourselves that We're good. Way better than fine.

Maybe I dont really say this to you but I really appreciate what you've done for me so far. You've risked so many things for me like getting into trouble with your parents and school too yknw. You've risked your life cause of me too huh hahaha like jaywalking etc haha :p I'm sorry i put you in danger at times. But you should know i had felt extremely bad then. I'll still continue giving you heart attacks with or without knowing haha :)

You know how i feel especially bad when you get me stuffs that are like so expensive or treat me to like awesome things (for eg, today's shoulder massage at kenko). I dont know how i can repay your kindness and generosity. Really. I cant afford those expensive things youve bought for me so far and i think i owe my life to you. Youve told me before that my presence means the most to you and all i can do to make up for all the money you had spent on me is to be there for you, to give you my love.

However, i dont give you my love just to make up to all the money you spent on me. I give you my love cause I think you deserve it. You deserve to feel loved, to be loved. I know you'll never stop complaining and criticising yourself. I know you'll always find fault in yourself. I hope by now you know that whenever i mention how others dont have the nice looks, i dont even think of whether you have that similar characteristics. And i hope by now you also know that whatever ugly characteristics that others have are not ugly on you. All i see in you is perfection. I swear.

For next 5 months, we'll keep being strong like how we've always been and be patient when we face difficulties/misunderstandings/jealousy/anger/arguments/pms haha. I know we can do this.

I love you, blackface. I really do.

Put your drinks up

2011-03-20T21:59:00.004+08:00

Hehehe the quote is supposedly from The Italian Job (vvvv nice but quite complicated-at-first movie) but blf said its supposed to be "Freaked out." instead of "Fucked up." Hahaha. I shall not say i'm fine anymore. Shall say I'm gooooooooooooooooooooooood haha. Okay wtv.

During this march holiday, I've learnt that I get really disgusted by noobs and people who think they know it all. Yea these 2 groups of people are actually total opposites of each other haha. I have really low tolerance for them. I've not discovered the reason why though. But i can give examples of people whom I cant stand haha. Not here though cause it's mean. It's cyber-bullying. (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLSHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET SIOL.)

Okay what's this angst man, calm your tits rammi. -pressing down me boobies- Okay i'm blogging right now cause i wanna end tonight with....SOMETHING. Hahah like once school starts, i'd most prolly rarely get to use this shit so yea. But omg me brudder will be off to camp from tue to sunday wah fuck can use laptop everynight haahaha note that i said 'everynight' cause since the start of sch this year, i've been reaching home earliest 730. Wooots. Perangai busy woman but in actual fact, its just because i'm the king of public transport. Yeap sux to live at youtea but no no i'm grateful hahahaha contradicting ke pe

OKAY I'M SPOUTING NONSENSE ALR = SLEEPY ME BUHBYE

ps if u want come crescent carnival come ask me for tix leh PLX THZ HAHA

For u

2011-03-10T21:24:00.003+08:00

I am so grateful to have you in my life. You're always there for me, trying to make me feel better. Sometimes when you sacrifice so much for me, i feel so guilty and all. But you'll keep assuring me that it's nothing. Yea everything's small to you right haha :)

I just wish you love yourself more. Wish you see how beautiful you are. Cause i hate it when you bring yourself down like that. But at the same time, i wish people in this world are not so fucking superficial and insensitive.

It's gonna be the 23rd month in a few hours time. I would like you to know that youre my everything, my world :)

I just fucking love this

2011-03-08T22:30:00.003+08:00

Ashlynn, told you i've got the same smile as Gary's hahaha.

2011-03-05T19:43:00.001+08:00

Realised the shape of her face?? She looks like a fucking witch i cant believe i actually went to her concert ohgosh i'm part of illuminati JUST KIDDING. gross

Sexy song

2011-02-27T22:00:00.001+08:00

Black & Yellow

2011-02-25T22:37:00.003+08:00

Want a body like this (w/o the tats) haha.

I think this place is so redundant. Haha who the hell reads this shit sigh. But i'm still gonna keep this for no apparent reason haha sux. I do love blogger hmm.

If you ask me how's life so far, I would most likely say.....Nothing's new :) Ups and downs here and there but that's what life is about man. Haha i dont really hope to have a sexciting 2011 cause I KNOW it's gonna be one hell of a boring year with so many routines/cycles.

I'm grateful for my weekends even with hockey in them. Weekends make me feel free baby. CTs are already here, I am Gifted soon.

Managable ah, can can. :) Okay whoever is reading this, pls do smile at me when you see me. You might just amuse me haha :) Nah, smiles are powerful - they can make strangers' day.

My bright orange plaster below my ankle makes me feel so cool now haha kidding. Nights!

2011-02-20T19:02:00.002+08:00

I have a thing for nice-smelling things/people. Hahah but i love your smell the most :) Your smell works wonders.

Haha alright right now i'm totally lagging behind in my studies and it's so worrying at times. Haha but fuck this mindset i'm having; Hockey now, studies later. First game at northland sec with northland sec on tue haha :) We will win.

Yesterday was so fucking tiring. Was at sch from 8 to 5 plus? and then off to bloody sengkang for game, which i was late for. Ended game at like 9plus and reached home at arnd 11. Thank god for blf cause w/o her i'd have died. Ytd wasnt tht nice though, honestly. Didnt feel any sense of accomplishment or anything. Just happiness cause there was blf haha :) Spent the whole day with her actually. (=makes me a happy gal)

I just wish tmr will be a tolerable day w/o teachers being anal towards us.

U feel like paradise

2011-02-20T14:37:00.000+08:00

2011-02-13T21:25:00.003+08:00

It's only 9:26pm now but i'm alr thinking of slping/

I hate this feeling that i get almost every....sunday. How i dread school so much & how much i wish i'm out of crescent alr. The sch sux now, which also includes the people in it. (most of them) i'm definitely nt having a healthy lifestyle right nw. So much hatred in me nwadays. But fuck, life gives me all kinds of shits. I cant help but feel grumpy.

I rly wish there's someone nice out there in sch to make the burdens go away hah. Even friends have their own things to care abt, you'll be eventually left alone. Yea/

Everything's going haywire at home. My bro is showing so fucking bad eg. My parents wont be surprised if one day, i just get out of hse in the middle of the night and nt say a word before tht.(thts if i still hav parents then) Fuck dick-owners, really. I wanna come home late everyday frm now onwards.

I feel like shit.

2011-02-12T20:13:00.001+08:00

If you wanna get with me

2011-02-06T10:02:00.002+08:00

Whoah dusty baby this place.

Alright hello out there. :) I dont really miss blogging cause right now, i dont want people to know what are my feelings, thoughts. They are suicidal. Not to me, to some of you haha. You know the phrase "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all." ? Yea? I've been keeping that in mind. So if there are bad things that i've said, i think they are just the truth that had to be told.

My mind is still adapting to the pressure. At times, I think of doing all the bad things in the world, just because i feel like shit. I wouldnt be surprised if i do end up doing something bad. It's in my blood; the extreme feeling of regret. I hate regretting things i've done but i cant change anything and i guess, it is my fault it is how my life is.

Life is fucking unfair. It fucking is. I dont know why i deserve all kinds of shit treatment from some parties. I've learnt. I've learnt that there are just some things people don't see like: Lies, pretense. Effort can be seen, the will to do something can be felt, happiness sadness can be seen and felt. You get my point? Life is unfair. People who lie and pretend are seen as the good guy while people who possess the most sincere intention are condemned.

I'm a victim of life. Life has taken its toll on me. I give up, i'm going with the flow, i'm looking forward for everything to be over and done with. Simple, yes?

love in this club

2011-01-25T10:16:00.000+08:00

I cant take it no more, i'm coming for you.

Fuck u

2011-01-18T20:12:00.001+08:00

If you're hating me right now, listen to this. This is how exactly I feel right now. And i'm gonna make my stand tomorrow, you'll just wait and not sleep tonight.

I like it loud.

2011-01-09T21:39:00.003+08:00

Awesome song which is able to make my mornings bearable :) Thanks blf!

Bye people i'm gonna be a fashionably mysterious person from now onwards haha ok? Ok best :)

Thinking bout you

2011-01-06T21:36:00.002+08:00

Aww ashy looks so fucking hot doesn't he. A picture of him just for you baby. (:

So hi, rammi is currently unavailable. Please try again later. HAHA joke. No la, her tpc's fugged cause of some irresponsible toot toot kemamak. So anyway, what's happenin people. I'm tryna infuse good vibes into here. Feel all my warm chubby love bebeh. I'm not fat, I'm just full of loveeeee~

Right, so school has been this evil monster that's been sucking the happy right outta my lovely girl. Which kinda pisses me off a lot. And I guess its not mainly school? Some other external factors as well. But then again, I think mainly its the lack of time that we're both experiencing that's making things so "FUUUUUUUU" worthy. _|_ the world.

Shit I think I totally spoiled the whole "good vibes" thing I had going on. Alah nvm la eh. Hehe. Okay I am running out of crap. Muacks bye.

Knock you down

2011-01-03T22:33:00.001+08:00

Someone has a blog now ;) hehehe somehow this pic reminds me of you cause your bra's always visible when you wear baggy shirts which you have plenty of~

School starting in hours and omg i'm so dreading it :( i'm happy for blf though cause she has no school tmr hehe and i hope she decides to drop by crescent to give me a pleasant surprise hahaha. I need to pack my bag so ciao~

How i wish i could tell you that

2011-01-02T22:56:00.000+08:00

New year post

2011-01-01T19:44:00.002+08:00

Haha my bushy hair ;)

2010= 3s2b/stress/tgifs/kl trip with bdiv 10/3rd placing,awesome/changes here n there/fucked up teachers/lost friends, new friends/unmotivated/slacked thruout the year/l1r5 sux balls 30+/my 15th was great/OBS WAS GREAT fuck i miss it/went 2 kampung twice this year/watched yog football match @ night/yog hockey matches too/hockey camp/hairy potter w highway&zenice/henderson waves w team&you/1st year w you/sg flyer/kite flying dates w you/cycling w you/night dates w you @ vivo rooftop/jogging&swimming w you on sat mornings/1st flea w you/yr bday chalet/sleeping on the floor w you haha & many more (i'm lazy to recall everything else)

But thank you to my special one, classmates, team mates, friends, acquaintances for making 2010 an eventful one :) it's neither the best nor the worst year but yay i survived the year~ Here's yet another year that's gonna make me feel pain, jealousy, anger, frustrated, happy, horny, crazy and all the emotions in the world. If i survived 2010, i will survive 2011 baby :)

I've never fulfilled my new year resolutions in my entire life but i'm not giving up on creating my new year resolutions hahah just for the fun of it man. Okay so lets keep it simple:

1) to get into sajc

2) to get no more than 5 pimples on ma face at a time(haha i'm vain)

3) to get into a club

4) to be happy

5) to survive the whole stress period of o's

IS THT TOO MUCH, GOD. I HOPE IT'S NOT I LOVE U OK

hey

2010-12-29T23:13:00.002+08:00

(eventhough i know you most prolly have someone in mind that you'd want to fuck)

it's a heartbreak warfare

2010-12-28T21:20:00.003+08:00

Right now i'm eating choki choki, listening to john mayer and trying to calm myself down. Judge me i'm a paranoid freak, useless bitch i dont care but i cant take this

hockey:

i'm still rusty thanks to a week w/o hockey sigh bdiv is so damn near training intensity gna increase the frequency too ive got to stay strong physically mentally miss my team mates who are overseas now really miss them cause i feel so incomplete and omg not to forget the competitiveness i hate it man it's me and my batch's last year but i dont even feel like its our season. Fuck that seriously... okay enough of the complainings on a brighter note, match with stc was good. we survived, sofia theo haha~

dikir:

hmm where do i start eh? okay firstly i'm stressed out and scared for production, this i have to say honestly. I still have difficulty switching roles. Like i have to do 2 things at one time, everytime. Sometimes more than 2 things and i'm trying my best not to get frustrated and pissed, seriously. & when i get disappointed, i get angry and i cant help that. I'm a sucker i know. However, everyone has limits and when i feel that people are not giving their best, i will ask myself if i deserve those shit. I dont know if i'm thinking too much or just being realistic. This week's the last week of december alr and production is like on feb. People will mia when school starts and i'm afraid i will too because of bdiv '11. Fuck i'm rly unhappy please let tmr be good and kids, please enlighten me.

i dont even want to think of studies haha gave up. Right now john mayer has stopped calming me down cause hes not singing to me anymore and i'm gna watch big bang theory bye see you tmr.

the sky is the limit

2010-12-23T08:51:00.002+08:00

I really wish i could drop by a club to see DJ Garuda work. Haha i love places where music blasts like fuck.

I'm still on bed. Parents want me to pack quick but i'm ignoring them. I wish i could go training. What happened to the freedom they gave me? Arent we spending time together as a family already -when we'd be at kampung? Like ergh i'm so annoyed. This trip is so redundant really really. Only 2 cars are going what fun can we have you tell me haha. I'd be missing weekends with blf :(

On the other hand, school is starting. Haha omg i just made myself feel more awful. I got myself a new specs. Like this one:

And new bag and shoes which i hope will motivate me to do well next year HAHA what crap. Should i cut my hair? Should i should i. I really am irritated at my hair and how it's like so messy and thick and long. But then i think my long hair has given me the freedom that i've had during this holidays. So how? I should cut right since the holidays ending anyway.....BUT I WANNA GO COUNTDOWN 2011. If i cut my hair, dyou think i'm risking the chance of going. Blf has free mosh pit tickets. LIKE YAYYYYY :D this is hard....

Okay i'm done haha off to kampung eh? I will leave you with my damn cute pic HEHEHE

Throw up your arms

2010-12-19T21:58:00.004+08:00

Let's say if i EVER drink, that would be the reason why. I know it's such a stupid excuse but everyone do stupid things when they're young, dont they? Fuck school, i should be drinking by now. Sigh books make me stupid i wish i was sheldon.

I dont know why people with not much problems complain so much. It's none of my business i know but i'm just curious. Why don't they stop and think before they whine/complain? Others have like much more problems and they come in like jumbo sizes or something. Life in singapore is considered easy compared to....india (HAHA RAJ) I really dislike seeing/reading things from places where people express how screwed up their lives are. And when i read them, they're like no biggie to me haha I JUST THINK EVERYBODY SHOULD BE AS "CAREFREE" AS ME. (That's what penny think of me and i bet she thought of that because i told her i wasnt thinking when i broke the whiteboard in the pe room HAHA FUCK funny to think of it)

Nevertheless, my point is, i just want people to spread the love and happiness on world wide web rather than spreading the angst man. I'm easily influenced. Hahaha :( pity me and my eyes and my emotions please. Salutes~ Lu respect gua, gua respect lu babe. Wtf am i talking? Okay i'm being nonsensical. I might just blog again tmr cause........i'm in the mood haha. Yea mood to blog instead of to study WHAT AM I GOING TO BE WHEN I GROW UP?!

(A hipster,baby)

2010-12-17T22:50:00.002+08:00

I'm starting to worry how i'm gonna finish my holiday homework. Going kampung next friday i am giving up. I am fucking disappointed. I have no motivation. Blf leaving in 4 days fuck la. Not spending tmr with blf. I am going to rot and just die tmr i really dont have any motivation to do any work i swear. I AM SO IRRITATED BY MYSELF I NEED TO SLASH MYSELF atleast i'm bearing the pain from my menses cramps atleast i can get prepared for the pain that i'm gonna feel when i cut myself later at night. Yea man. I expect to bleed a lot. Oh wait i'm not supposed to expect anything in life anymore. Aaaaaaaah yea~~~ which part of my body should i cut. Am i drunk? No no i'm not drunk. I'm fuming mad. Mad at myself.

I'm.a.fucking.horrible.person.

(y am i always not crying y am i always the heartbreaker)

u n s

2010-12-17T18:49:00.002+08:00

Omg this reminds me of music lesson in sec 2!! Sofia dyou remember? Hahaha the one i didnt know which of my hands to hold whose hands HAHAH

i just came back from ecp with blf haha we did a lot of things there. well i thought we did. but we did walk a lot!!!! and i discovered i got menses when we just reached macs at ecp :( felt cramps only after we returned our bike. Haha we rented the two seated bike BLF KEPT SCREAMING WHEN I AT THE FRONT SEAT :( When i cycle, i go like zigzag HAHAHA shit man my hands can never stay still i think :( we cycled to bedok jetty the skiing place makan place the circle2 thing yea la there there then we returned the bike quite early then we walked to makan place to eat seafood. We walked by the sea hahah then stopped at one place to sit and enjoy the wind. Please note, i was suffering from my menses cramps the whole way :( depressing la. Oh and blf said this in a very funny matter-of-fact way, "Penat kan, diam la" HAHAHAHA i immitated her and she started laughing like gorilla :p HEHEHE damn funny. Omg i no mood to blog alr :( i keep feeling blood coming out from my vagigi HAHA

Bye la hahah to be continued? You wish :p

2010-12-12T20:43:00.000+08:00

Gonna be my fav song for weeks :)

Omg i'm so sleepy

2010-12-10T22:37:00.000+08:00

Ohhhhhh keikhlasan di hati

2010-12-09T21:54:00.002+08:00

This picture somehow reminds me of how I used to ask blf to do yoga whenever she stressed/angry and not to forget, suicidal HAHA. Shit how did you tolerate my nonsense eh? Hahahaha.

Me and blf just talked about something really weird hahaha but nothing's weird when we discuss about things. Except for one thing. I cant say it here or else she'd kill me. Serious. If she dislikes talking to me about it, she'd not tell anyone about it :p except for her mum ah? And maybe the nurses HAHAHAHHA okay i'm so sorry dont hate me please!

I'm supposed to be angsty and grumpy now but what me and blf just talked about really lightened up me mood :) Okay so i dont have much to say. Just that i'm so busy now that i have to cramp up everything in a day. Hmmm buhbye la~

2010-12-06T19:25:00.001+08:00

This gave me goosebumps. Awesome shit. Gonna be on repeat for tonight :)

Beat me till i'm numb

2010-12-05T21:35:00.004+08:00

Meet happygal. She got to eat chilli today. Yea the chilli from angmoh shows.....like spongebob. HAHAHA according to her la okay :p i didnt know that thing exist.

So i've been going out lately. With family and friends, a good balance ey :) Haha minah. I've been thinking of getting a hobby but i've decided not to get one for now. Cause i need to do work :( Yea think i've had enough fun. THINK ONLY. But i really wanna go inline skating again! And wanna go henderson waves again :( fuck camp man HAHA. I wanna fly kite after getting a longer string too! Shit miss flying kite :( Ahhh sad faces overload no gooooood~

I cant wait for crescent hockey carnival. But wait, i think i can wait haha dont know. Dikir practices going to start soon (tuesday). Hmm lucky izzati's back hahaha! I'm gonna be more busy and i'm not looking forward to it. Good thing my parent's been giving me freedom :) YEA MAN~ hahaha OH LOOK I M AN ANGEL. DYOU SEE THE HALO ON TOP OF MA HEAD!

Okay i'm off to talk to blf. I really going to chill and slack and get comfy under my blankets now. The weather's been so cold eh? Why eh? Hahaha christmas coming eh! :p HEHEHE hohoho~ OH CHUBBS BLINKING NOW BYEBYE

Take take take it all

2010-12-01T18:46:00.004+08:00

A holiday like this would be nice :)

I'm tired. Haha too much hockey(stress) for me and team. Tmr there'll be training from 10 to 1 and then friendly with vjc at sengkang from 3 to 5. I think my cca's the most active during the holidays. Plus, no overseas trip for us this year SIGH. Hope our hardwork will pay off. Okay be right back i need to bathe.

Hi i'm back haha my legs are aching cause i damn stupid. hahah went downstairs to play badminton/frisbee with minin just now. Okay i'm tired alahai no mood type long long about my life la eh HAHA.

Hope you guys have an enjoyable holiday eh. Ha :)

Tryna make it work but damn these times are hard.

2010-11-30T21:41:00.003+08:00

Sup boo. I felt like blogging today so here I am invading the space belonging to that of the oh-so-awesome rammi. Kthxyoumuacks. (Sidenote: How hot is the girl up there. Come on tell me. How freaking hot is she.)

So anyway, I've been feeling setbacks and disappointments and obviously it's not exactly the kinds of feelings that put smiles on your faces right? Nevertheless, I'm still hoping for the best. Though they say "Hope is paralysing." I don't go down easy and I'll fight for the best. Growing up entitles you a free pass to crushed dreams and bleakland. Whoopdeedooda. Worst come to worst, I'll drop out of school and be a busker on the streets of Orchard singing my life away. (Y)

My face smells like green tea. I allow you to sniff my face. Haha I'll judokick your groin.

Byebyebye.

2010-11-27T22:38:00.002+08:00

Thats what you always do right. Lie and lie and lie. Sigh get over it and keep living your life full of lies. If there's one thing i really regret doing in my life, it'll be... oh i should really throw my past away and not be angry over something that belongs in the past. I am just hoping you'd stop it.

:B

2010-11-26T21:52:00.001+08:00

Exactly my face when I know I'm wrong and blf's right but i insist that i'm right even when i spouted some nonsense.

2010-11-25T13:00:00.003+08:00

This is so fucking classic and awesome. Still rmb how i was crazy over that red face/smiley. I really love bon jovi. Really.

Anyone?!?!?!?!?! I wanna go with a lot a lot of people LETS GOOOOOOO KIDS 34.20 BUCKS FOR US. :D WANT WANT WANT CUNT CUNT CUNT hehehehe

Why were they open?

2010-11-24T21:13:00.002+08:00

Nice :)

I'm back from camp and i seriously need to start on work. Had fun, (esp learning how to inline skate) and had much of hockey. Need to settle down soon :( Sigh. Btw, to get a haircut or not eh?As you can see from fb pictures, i couldnt be bothered abt how horrible i looked during camp/trekking HAHA muke damn taik. But it's okay i'm going through the phase where my hair's pretty much screwed up cause its growingggg. Tsk.

Okay i'm sleeeepy. :( Nights!

-wets eyebrows

2010-11-20T13:43:00.003+08:00

This is what happens when i decided to watch wild bunny. Yea i'm fucking slow but hahah whooooo cares. I like guys who look really good in pink like the person down there.

Yea youuuuuuuuuu.

Hahaha but i cant ditch this guy. The best.

Dont take me wrong man. I'm not fan-girling. Hahah i'm just looking up to people whom i think deserves my respect. (CHEH)

Okay off to work. Ps/ i have to be kendarat for today and tmr sigh oh sigh.

2010-11-19T21:21:00.002+08:00

I stumbled upon this while blog hopping

"To Ramizah & Dikdikids,

Thank you so much for your commitment. I know your department was the department with the most no. of new members (if I'm not wrong heh) but you guys really pulled through. I'm so proud of you guys for bouncing back way higher after what I said (that I know hurt you alot I'm sorry~) Ramizah has really a lot of potential and you guys should be so proud of her, because I know I am. Good job Ramizah. & the karut song for cikgu was so appropriate and cute and really touching even I cried heh. But really, do meet up often after this to keep your bond alive. And for those who are not stepping down soon, please please help to ensure that the semangat kental of PBMC is kept alive :) "

Hahaha so touched. It was posted so long ago, haha after Tamu di Bukit Kenny. By the way, ermy has asked me to come for the dikir auditions and i cant wait actually.

Raise yourglass

2010-11-18T21:44:00.002+08:00

We will never ever be anything but loud.

Not in a good mood right now. I'm going to type a little nonsense here before getting some booze to get rid of this awful feeling. Joking.

I wonder why some people who are obviously smarter than me are just so rude. Even i know basic manners. I mean like, after someone tries to cheer me up/talk sense into me, i say thanks even if it didnt help. You know i really cant stand fucking emotional people. I know we should accept people's weaknesses and what fuck shit but i have limits. This may sound childish but i think i'd never be close to anyone younger than me other than minin. Yea, it is so troublesome and difficult for me. I dont understand "kids", i hate "kids". Yea that's me, if you still have not known that.

I'm a loser for allowing your past to ruin my night. I feel inferior. Yea, inferior cause i think i'm not that great. I know you think highly of me but it's not wrong to doubt myself right. It's just part of.....my menses. I am trying my best to get rid of this feeling. Trying hard.

Half of my heart's gotta a grip on the situation

Half of my heart takes time

The city is at war, bless the young and rich~

2010-11-16T23:45:00.003+08:00

With designer drugs and designer friends.

I'm so ashamed to be a teenager right now. You should check out this: http://www.temasekreview.com/2010/11/17/16-year-old-kenneth-lin-criticizes-lee-kuan-yew-publicly-at-sdp-rally/

I'm not on his side eventhough its stated there that MM Lee "had said that it is a "good thing" for Singapore to welcome more Chinese immigrants as they are more "hard-striving" than locals." I mean that's partly true but if Spore keeps taking in foreigners for the country's own good, then what are Singapore citizens supposed to do in their own fucking country. We're losing our sense of belonging thanks to the god damn immigrants. Sorry no offence to whoever's reading this. Freedom of speech here~

On the contrary, i'm not supporting that little guy also. Because one, he's only sixteen. That means he's almost like me, which then infers that he's being emotional (HAHAHA) and too caught with angst and being immature. Two, he does not have enough concrete evidence and points to criticise our MM Lee. I mean his speech was just showing how....teenagers now are stupidly brave. Lastly, i'm not on his side cause i'm still really disappointed with the gang fights etc recently. Dont tell me teenagers are trying to overrule the govt now! Looks like it ey cause you never know a small thing like that guy's speech can turn into a big thing due to influence and brainwashing hahaha. Admit it, we teenagers are hard to handle so anything can happen~

I really hope Sg wont turn out to be just like another fucked up country with riots and chaos almost every year. Right now, we teenagers should just....be teenagers ok. Dont step big all, that one really no need ah, tak perlu tak perlu.

Aaaah the world is so different now. Hmm lets see, not only are barriers (between levels) broken in school eh? In this country too, i must say.

Hey baby

2010-11-12T20:33:00.003+08:00

i'm typing this w only my right hand cause i refuse to take off my mickey glove on me left hand hehehehe :p okay so far for the past 1/coming 2 week(s)?.. i've caught megamind which was awesome shit pls best dreamworks movie eva i think megamind so cute yknw hahhahaha. I've been flying kite, playing frisbee, swimming, slacking at cine/scape, crashing np for makan place HAHA, sending blf to school (mentang2 takde skola)... YEA MAN

I still think i need more life. :( Yea and i need to start doing work too yknw :( Rly no mood to finish up anything right now. I dont feel motivated, i dont want to feel accomplished either. I'm stubborn liddat, always have been always will be. I no mood to blog already but i shall end with....

MEET MY PET, G6.

(very naughty one)

Pitbull's the best

2010-11-11T21:47:00.003+08:00

I miss...

2010-11-09T21:37:00.004+08:00

Being a child. So carefree and happy.

I used to get so happy when my fam decided to go to the nearby park just to cycle/walk around. I used to be so excited when my fam goes to the mama shop near our previous house

I used to be so happy over the littlest things, you know.

But now it's so hard for me to stop thinking negatively when i'm down/angry. When i'm at my lowest, I stay there for quite long cause i'm stubborn liddat. Sucks eh to be me~ I hate myself to the core sometimes. Cause I cant believe how i'd be wasting my time fussing over "small" things. Yet i still fuss over them. What a crazy stupid gal ey

Blf once said I tend to get angry instead of upset. It's true, i realise. I dont know how I do it but yea somehow i'll get angry at myself/anyone instead of like crying/wailing/tearing HAHA. Sigh what to do~

Dah la bye~

You give love a bad name

2010-11-05T23:08:00.002+08:00

Get a life, friends. Get a fucking fabulous life.

We dont stay young forever. So while we're young, what we do is break the rules, care about nothing, party like a rockstar, and just fuck everything up.

Cause when you get older, that's when you clean up your mess and seek the happiness you felt when you were younger.

Dont need anyone around us

2010-11-04T21:05:00.002+08:00

Life isn't easy, it will always get fucked up. Everyone has their own way of "living their life" and because of that each of our lives gets fucked up in our own different ways. Sometimes it's hard to rant to others cause they dont know about your mess. They dont experience what you're facing in your life. And that is because everyone has their own way of living their life and everyone's lives get fucked up in different ways.

It's frustrating somehow. When you're trying to help someone feel better or help them with their mess, cause you know how it feels like, you know... but you cant help cause you're not giving the 'right' advices. Not easy ey? Your life is fucked up because of this one reason and another person comes by and rants to you about something that has to do with that same reason why your life is fucked up now.

The world is changing. People in it are changing too, ofcourse. Respecting others is important and I really hope it remains existant in the future. Respecting others' beliefs, decisions, thoughts and whatnots. I've always thought that there are things that are just meant not to be said. Always think before you speak. You dont want to hurt anyone unintentionally cause that will lead to silent treatment and whatever. Yea life sucks.

Hmmmm..

I used to think a lot but now, i just let my thoughts flow.

2010-11-02T17:38:00.001+08:00

Show me the light, guide me.

2010-10-29T23:09:00.002+08:00

You just need to smoke your stress out.

Ssssst~

2010-10-26T18:48:00.003+08:00

If only I could do this in our class informal shot HAHA

Heyyyy you monsters! (so lady gaga haha) Okay i've finally activated my fb. So if you wanna stalk me, go ahead hahah perasantan. I'm really looking forward to Halloween but that's if I get to go out to town/anywhere and scare people you know. I want sweeties too~ :( Ah hope me parents let, fingers crossed. (if not i'll just cook up some lie HAHAH)

Holidays starting soon. GPS had advised us to do revision for like 70% of our holidays. Hah! I strongly think that won't happen for me. (unless i suddenly feel there's a need to) Actually I'm supposed to "wake up" already cause next year gonna be o's baby~ But the thing is....... I still want to be happy and carefree :( HEHE so yea la! I'll update you guys when I actually do start on my revision ok! Me no closet mugger.

I want so many things right now you know you know. Like this:

I really like this cause it's not the "too-cool-for-school" type of headphones and the price is not bad ehhhhh 30 bucks! Not bad for a branded pair of headphones right :)

I would love to have this tooooo

I dont know what's with the heart shapes but hahah I want simple dunks like one up there you know. Not too colourful cause I dont want people too look at me ugly legs :( I wonder how cheap a pair of dunks can be. Anyone knows?

Okay i think thats all HAHA I actually wanted to buy an ukulele but hahahha but i guess it's kinda redundant mmhhmm. Alright man, now i'm sad cause I dont know if i can get the two things up there. I want it to rain money money~~

Woots

2010-10-24T17:25:00.002+08:00

Click http://vestax.sg/?p=61 !!! Our dj instructor, DJ Garuda's in it. He's the one with black cap. And and i managed to stalk him, click >> http://www.e-tracx.com/skool/instructor-profiles/profile-mc-garuda Cool shit please. :) I really really want to get into a club this coming holiday/soon. Just to see how it is you knowwww, i'm fucking curious. But ofcourse no booze for me~ HEHEHE okay bye.

We're looking for something dumb to do

2010-10-23T22:06:00.003+08:00

Just look at perfection and the gayness.

Hey kidsssss. It's been long since i've done a proper update hehehe :) Life's good yea yea~ Okay i'm not kidding. My results were not bad(,but not good either.) Well for me hahaha others would think a L1R5 of 30 is pathetic but hah i improved a bit and that's an accomplishment to me. Awww baby you should be proud of me hahahahaha well i've had enough of your cold shoulders, bitch stares and your pinching of my nose...thats why i'm being so optimistic eh hahah. I so smart.

What hurts is the sight of disappointment in our teachers' faces and also, the sound of disappointment coming out from the teachers' mouths. Btw i guess we're less smart than the sec 4s this year but you dont have to go all angsty on us. I've never liked you and the way you teach us, bastard. I'dkeep my fingers crossed and pray hard i wont get you for - next year. And to another bitch, i think you should really leave Crescent next year. PLEASE do so i beg you. Youre pointless, useless and so unreliable. What kind of a teacher are you argh.

Okay i just let out my post exam angst HAHA crap. I hope you readers practise some freedom of speech here~ I am an average teen so i get angsty once in a while. Its human nature baby wheee~ Okay enough of exams!

Trainings have been all about running 10 rounds around delta under the Humid Haze and Hot Hhhhhhsun. I wanna lose some kilos and get fit hahaha. Season coming.......got to work hard. And i wont forget what highway said about something hahahha so damn true and sometimes that girl makes so much sense! Sigh life's unfair and everyone's bias. That's just the way it is~ I really hope Theo's doing alright now. I feel for her and if the same thing was to happen to me, i'd be reacting just the way she did. (Sigh why us again?)

Been eating red mango a lot hahaha thanks to blf. But i've got to admit, it's really awesome. Honey stars, mochi, peach and frozen yogurt = best combi (L) WHEE Hahahaha btw i love how the new scape has this teenage (dream) atmosphere but i cant stand the sight of most of the people there. Serious. What happened to the nice people in this world? Are they dead already shitttttttt :( Hahaha i'm such a bitch yea thats why i'm still alive now :p

Okay anyway today i woke up at 540am, went out of house at 6am, reached delta at 640+am, had training till 9+ and went to fetch the "princess" cause she late hahah and i stinked so bad omg :( headed to Je swimming complex, swam for like 2h? hahhahaha we did a lot of talking~ and i'm in love with the waves+rain my fav since 4eva, KFC after that, walked to 99 bus stop, took 99 to blf's, ate chicken rice, slept while blf went to get ready HAHAHA when she woke me up, i told her to wait a while more cause i wanted to sleep :p HAHA then after that we went city hall cause we thought the FLB flea was today. Okay la actually me only hahahaha shhhhhuddup~ walked to popeyes and ate and killed time there NOSTALGIC heheheh right blf!!! OH BTW we saw naked woman walking around the area between esplanade and sg flyer hehehhehehe NAKED! me and blf were drunk on ribena sorry!

We took the bouncing train from city hall to marina bay and then to yew tee thru red line hehehe i slept quite abit after playing the shuffle game with blf :p woke up and played coin dozer HAHAH omg we were being all retarded in between those events. Sigh we so cute~ Okay finally we went separate ways :( Hope to see blf soon!!!

Okay enough la this post is so long and detailed omg hahah okay i'm feeling like this...

So goooodnight HAHAHA

2010-10-22T21:15:00.002+08:00

Jaden smith's sister?! Omg la their fam the bessstttttt~

married to the game

2010-10-20T19:11:00.002+08:00

The thought of tomorrow just scares me.

I dont know if i'm going to be alright.

I do adore

2010-10-19T22:26:00.002+08:00

Loook at me with blf's bag!! Hahahahahaah look at THE face cantek perrrr~~~ HAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA cute

Okay nights and baby please cheer up :)

Gay dance for you!

Cant get enough of me

2010-10-18T23:14:00.003+08:00

I leave when I feel like i'm not needed.

There ain't nothing better than this.

2010-10-16T18:29:00.008+08:00

Hi everybodeh! I'm going to blog about yesterday since someone pms-ing now :( and i made her frustrated too :( Sorryhor :(

Met at JE @ like 1 and i realised in the train tht my pants werent zipped hehehe oops and it was stuck seh :( So at je i went to face a pillar with su blocking me hahah. Went to commonwealth sheng shiong to buy food and drinks before going MB. It was so damn hot there but the wind made it tolerable.

By the way we saw a very nerdy couple trying to fly a kite. Like wtf the wind so strong and their kite didnt go up high KENTAL NYE. But they were so lazy to tug tug the kite all seh EEE actcool.

Me and su managed to fly Floo (our kite's name)!!!!! :) WOOHOOO thanks to the damn strong wind! I feel happy flying kite~ HEHEHE serious :p

We flew Floo for quite long before we went to rest. Tried playing Stress but damn fail cause the cards were flying away from us!! hahahahahahhah funny shit. Okay so we played frisbee after that. I LIKE I LIKE :B

We blasted music and camwhored heheh :)

We stayed there until 5. I kept flying kite hahah jakun. We felt damn tired when we left MB :( Headed to central to redeem mum's gift tsk. Chilled (literally) @ starbucks for drinks and played Stress HAHAHAH I champion~~~ :p Then i felt hungry so went to the LJS beside it hahah i is pig eh. Hmmm reached home at like 8+ TIRED AS HELL.

Yesterday was ultimately fun with Su hahahahahahahhahahaha (shit i find something so funny) I love yesterday and the fun I had then with Su! WHEEEE :B Thank you for yesterday!!!!! (L)

2010-10-15T08:24:00.001+08:00

i NEEEED this.

Noone really ever wins

2010-10-14T21:43:00.003+08:00

me likey tht hair.....(sob2)

"Lets do this~~" I watched Wizards of Wazerly Place just now nice nice family show and made me like Selena Gomez (ABIT ONLY AH ABITTT). So exams are over. Yada yada doesnt affect me much totally didnt feel any sort of joy or anything. Well i was happy, not because exams are over.. Because I'm a happy person hahahahaha WHEE~

I really hope I get busy from tomorrow onwards cause I dont want to rely on Rhino for entertainment. :( but me has plans tmr already so me is happy! You is happy for me? Yes, say yes nod your head~~ WHEE btw blf surprisingly could go out today cause she is daddy's gal and so we went raffles place cause she had to shit... (hahaha sorry blf i just had to say it) We ate BK yummy burgers and yummy onion rings! HEHE and then we walked somewhere...... SECRET CANNOT SAY.. and saw Red Mango!!!!!!

Red Mango sells the most unique frozen yogurt ive eva seen in my life HAHAH ok ive only recently explored the frozen yogurt world so me no have much to say... BUT the yogurt has like ....1..2..3..4..5...6! 6 layers!!!! Can chooose what you want to put in three of the layers and they have really unique toppings like for eg.. fruit loops and MOCHI (is tht how you spell it) AND THE MOCHIS ARE SQUARE SQUARE AND CHEWY yumyumyumyumyumyum

-drooling-

Yea ok hahahaha enough of today. I wonder if anyone's going marina barrage tmr i dont want to bump into people and no stalking is allowed!! -wags finger. Me trying to fly kite tmr wish me and blf luck we need it to save ourselves from ultimate embarassment. Dah la tempat tu tempat org yang selalu fly kite, fly kite.. Ish

Okay im tired the vainpot needs her beauty sleep HEHEHE :p nights earthlings~

Oh oh oh~

2010-10-13T21:18:00.002+08:00

The problem with being happy most of the time is that others tend not to care when you're sad. Maybe they care, but they just dont know what to do or they cant make anything better. In my opinion, people who are often happy feels way sadder (when they get sad) compared to those depressed teens (i dislike) who feel sad everytime. Cause usually these happy people dont get sad easily unless something disastrous happens. That is when they fall to the bottom. That is when they need someone to pull them up back to their feet.

I dont see the purpose of some people spoiling the happiness just to remind themselves that they have feelings. Isnt being happy a feeling, an emotion? I despise these kind of people. Perhaps theyre sad people by nature but... do they even try? I'm sick of seeing whines, complaints, angsty comments coming from the same group of people. Yea and thts why i shut myself off from this whole worldwide web thing. It gets into people man. People get carried away.

Cant wait to make myself busy with so many damn things that i wouldnt be able to touch this damn thing. I want to go to that place blf told me about. Its been long since i cried from laughing too much. I think. Ive been happy. But not enough. HAHAHA i suddenly thought of how aries people are like, as mentioned by blf. Sigh why am i such a lion..... (inside joke)

Bye.

2010-10-10T23:08:00.001+08:00

Walking like a one-man army.

I find this picture so mindblowing. Hope everyone's doing good! ;)

i sleepy :(

2010-10-08T22:20:00.001+08:00

So the trick is....

Just dont give a damn.

"I promise"

2010-10-07T20:47:00.002+08:00

What's happenin~ Chubbs here spreading some chubby love. Wooo. So today, caught Charlie St Cloud together and my goodness the movie is really... errrr. I mean, masturbating on a grave? There has to be some sort of explanation for all that had happened in the movie. Such surreality bums me out. I like down to earth kinda movies and those that I can relate to. This movie, I disapprove of because it does not make sense! Okay I guess my expectation of the movie was a tad high but whatever la eh. This movie caused the both of us to keep talking because we were so confused and we kept trying to guess everything. Especially SOMEONEEEE. Can't blame her, she is the director of the movie la katekan. Heh heh heh.

After which we had yoghurt yumyum and some nasi goreng. Do you know that ants eat nasi goreng? So weird. Beebs dropped some and then suddenly THERE WERE THOUSANDS OF ANTS. (Okay maybe not that much but a lot okay!) And they totally carried away ALL the rice grains in like, minutes! I hate ants. I am so afraid they would take over the world. *cries.

Then as usual we slept the train ride home. Woooo. TOMORROW I REGISTERING FOR DRIVING LICENSE. Supposed to go like on what, Monday? But I got sick. Still sick now but I DON'T CARE I WANT K DAH BYE.

Somewhere out there

2010-10-03T21:52:00.001+08:00

Cant get enough of this cutesy thang~

People do have reasons for living in denial, dont they? Maybe they dont want to hurt their own feelings by giving themselves false hopes. Maybe they live in denial because what theyre doing is something theyre not supposed to do and thus they deny everything. But why cant they stop doing it? Is it just them or are they just reaching out for something they yearn for. Love.

I feel guilty. But you know, I believe in silent treatments. I believe in time. How time will pull people apart. How time will let broken friendships fall back into place. "Just give it time." Yea, you dont have to rush things. You dont have to hate. Move on and if its not meant to be, you'll forget about it.

Hope everyone's (including whom I've not been talking to) doing well with their mugging. Dont forget to breathe baby. All the best and take it easy hehehe :)

Love, Rammi.

0.o

2010-10-03T13:40:00.003+08:00

Hot bodeh.